I looked up and saw the window. It was thrown open as usual. Curtains fluttering in the wind. Blue flickering lights dancing in the night. Maybe she's watching television...but..then why the silence? Every other house which has the television switched on, also throws out accompanying noises...blaring music, film dialogues, news, blah blah blah. From her window...I hear only a deafening silence which filters out into the night and envelops me in a painful embrace.
Mesmerized I stare at the window and watch the blue lights. I suspect she keeps the television on only to keep her company - a physical object filling a deep void. She does not need the sounds of the outside world as they would only cut into her solitude. Perhaps it is his voice that she yearns to hear.
He does his duty. Visits her every evening in his big, black car. Gives her a glimpse of a life she desires but can never have. He stays for a few hours each day except on weekends. Maybe the weekends are reserved for his 'family' - maybe a wife and a child or two? She does not have a right over the weekends just like she cannot have his heart - not even for a night. But then she has the television!
It is strange that I notice her open window only at night. Maybe its the curtains or maybe its the blue flickering light or maybe her world comes alive only in the darkness. But we connect each night, she and I. The window inviting me into her world and yet keeping me out.
I hope to see her someday, standing at her window, looking down at me from the shadows. But till then I will stand beneath her window each night, in the darkness and wait for permission to enter her world. Till then, the open window will suffice...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
This and that...
Have been meaning to regularly update my blog but laziness gets the better of me :-( Ever since I have come to Calcutta I have been getting these sudden uncontrollable urges to write...just write...about anything and everything that crosses my mind. It feels just like old times...when I used to write something everyday. However right now I do not feel like putting down anything remotely sensible so I will just write for the sake of writing. And I don't really understand why are you reading this unless, like me, you are bored out of your mind and have nothing better to do :-) Ok, here it comes:
Some things I love:
1. Blue - I mean the colour, in all shades. Blue sky, blue jeans, blue shoes (just bought two pairs last week), blue walls, blue blue blue so much so that I am even wearing blue nailpaint! Also, usually I am at my creative best when I am feeling blue :-)
2. Movies - specially watching them at a theatre munching popcorn (and I don't share!). I can also watch films in any language without subtitles only for the experience of watching it on the big screen. I love Shah Rukh Khan (ya ya ok don't roll your eyes at me) and I have watched each and every film he has acted (or overacted) in...some of which I am sure even he didnt bother to watch.
3.Rainy season - Have loved it since school days when we would get 'rainy day holiday' and we could eat our 'tiffin' in the school bus on our way back home. Love the sound of rain beating against the window panes and the sound of thunder and the sudden flashes of lightening when your dark world becomes super bright even if only for a second. Love the smell of wet earth, the puddles on the road and the khichdi and pakoras which any self respecting Bengali mom would rush to cook, the moment she hears the thunderclouds rumbling!
4.Winters - my absolute favourite season! And especially love the Delhi winters even if my nose turns red like Rudolf the reindeer and my fingers freeze over!!! Nothing beats the cozy feeling of being wrapped up in a blanket and holding a steaming cup of coffee in your hands while the temperature keeps dropping and dropping and dropping. In fact, I am convinced some intrinsic internal change happens within me each year between the months of November to February. I have consciously made an effort to note this strange phenomenon for the last couple of years. The four crucial months bring in a sense of rebellion and also a desperate need to break free. Some crucial life changing incidents happened to me during these months. It's like I evolve, step by step, each year during the winters. I have quit most of my jobs during these months and have also undertaken journeys for my soul to places like Haridwar and Rishikesh, again and again. One of my ex-bosses was forced to take me to Allahabad and Benaras to calm me down, when one fine day I just announced 'I quit'. It was during the early days of my career and it was in 'January'.
5.Books - specially fiction and especially if it is a thriller and there is some pathological serial killer on the loose and in the end the detective catches him/her and there is some psychological reason as to why s/he was such a nutcase! Also love reading about the occult/paranormal and am currently engrossed in reading 'Beyond the Occult' by Colin Wilson. I also love the smell of new books.
Other random things I love:
a.Staring at the wall/ceiling, waiting for it to change colour
b.Holding lengthy, meaningful conversations with my dogs/any other dog/infants who have not yet learned to speak
c.Eating ice cream in winters
d.Wearing black in summers
e.Singing in the shower
f.Experimental cooking (only my dad loves me enough and is brave enough to sample and appreciate everything and anything I try out)
g.Shopping at a medicine store
h.Walking from one end of the terrace to the other, all the while looking up at the sky (you should try it out sometime, it is as good as walking blindfolded)
i.Staring outside the window when its pitch dark outside
j.Collecting idols of Ganesha (yes the elephant God) in every shape and size
k.Eating milk powder with rice
l. Wearing purple
m.Talking to myself
n. Smell of petrol
o. Eating chocolate/sweets - usually - middle of the night!
p.Telling my grandma's photograph that I really really love her
Some things I hate:
1.Lizards
2.Any complicated mathematical calculation (2+2 is also a complicated mathematical calculation as far as I am concerned)
3.Stupidity
4.Summers
5.Discussing any stuff related to me with my mom - we seem to have diametrically opposing viewpoints about everything in life. But we get on famously when we are talking about anything/anyone but me :-)
Ok now its nearly 2:30 am and I have this strong urge to eat something sweet. Signing off now...got to go raid the fridge!!!
Some things I love:
1. Blue - I mean the colour, in all shades. Blue sky, blue jeans, blue shoes (just bought two pairs last week), blue walls, blue blue blue so much so that I am even wearing blue nailpaint! Also, usually I am at my creative best when I am feeling blue :-)
2. Movies - specially watching them at a theatre munching popcorn (and I don't share!). I can also watch films in any language without subtitles only for the experience of watching it on the big screen. I love Shah Rukh Khan (ya ya ok don't roll your eyes at me) and I have watched each and every film he has acted (or overacted) in...some of which I am sure even he didnt bother to watch.
3.Rainy season - Have loved it since school days when we would get 'rainy day holiday' and we could eat our 'tiffin' in the school bus on our way back home. Love the sound of rain beating against the window panes and the sound of thunder and the sudden flashes of lightening when your dark world becomes super bright even if only for a second. Love the smell of wet earth, the puddles on the road and the khichdi and pakoras which any self respecting Bengali mom would rush to cook, the moment she hears the thunderclouds rumbling!
4.Winters - my absolute favourite season! And especially love the Delhi winters even if my nose turns red like Rudolf the reindeer and my fingers freeze over!!! Nothing beats the cozy feeling of being wrapped up in a blanket and holding a steaming cup of coffee in your hands while the temperature keeps dropping and dropping and dropping. In fact, I am convinced some intrinsic internal change happens within me each year between the months of November to February. I have consciously made an effort to note this strange phenomenon for the last couple of years. The four crucial months bring in a sense of rebellion and also a desperate need to break free. Some crucial life changing incidents happened to me during these months. It's like I evolve, step by step, each year during the winters. I have quit most of my jobs during these months and have also undertaken journeys for my soul to places like Haridwar and Rishikesh, again and again. One of my ex-bosses was forced to take me to Allahabad and Benaras to calm me down, when one fine day I just announced 'I quit'. It was during the early days of my career and it was in 'January'.
5.Books - specially fiction and especially if it is a thriller and there is some pathological serial killer on the loose and in the end the detective catches him/her and there is some psychological reason as to why s/he was such a nutcase! Also love reading about the occult/paranormal and am currently engrossed in reading 'Beyond the Occult' by Colin Wilson. I also love the smell of new books.
Other random things I love:
a.Staring at the wall/ceiling, waiting for it to change colour
b.Holding lengthy, meaningful conversations with my dogs/any other dog/infants who have not yet learned to speak
c.Eating ice cream in winters
d.Wearing black in summers
e.Singing in the shower
f.Experimental cooking (only my dad loves me enough and is brave enough to sample and appreciate everything and anything I try out)
g.Shopping at a medicine store
h.Walking from one end of the terrace to the other, all the while looking up at the sky (you should try it out sometime, it is as good as walking blindfolded)
i.Staring outside the window when its pitch dark outside
j.Collecting idols of Ganesha (yes the elephant God) in every shape and size
k.Eating milk powder with rice
l. Wearing purple
m.Talking to myself
n. Smell of petrol
o. Eating chocolate/sweets - usually - middle of the night!
p.Telling my grandma's photograph that I really really love her
Some things I hate:
1.Lizards
2.Any complicated mathematical calculation (2+2 is also a complicated mathematical calculation as far as I am concerned)
3.Stupidity
4.Summers
5.Discussing any stuff related to me with my mom - we seem to have diametrically opposing viewpoints about everything in life. But we get on famously when we are talking about anything/anyone but me :-)
Ok now its nearly 2:30 am and I have this strong urge to eat something sweet. Signing off now...got to go raid the fridge!!!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Who cares?
Temperature soaring, horns blaring
Its morning on the roads of Kolkata
Two angry men on the road
A verbal fight, heated exchange of abuses
Their cars haphazardly parked
Blocking the traffic
Amidst the sea of angry vehicles and sweaty people
Stuck in a man made traffic jam
An ambulance wails
Someone is fighting for life
Maybe the roads will clear up
Maybe the ambulance will make its way through the maze
Perhaps its only a matter of few extended moments
But will those moments force a choice
Of life or death for someone somewhere
Who knows and more importantly who cares?
Its late at night
People come in fancy cars
Its a posh locality after all
The brightly lit gas station does brisk business as usual
Somewhere in the corner
Drowned in darkness
Sits a beggar, considered insane by the sane world
A gaping wound on his head
Maggots feeding on his brain
Some see him but none really see him
Nobody stops
Maybe the wound will claim his life
His soul is already taken
When and how
Who knows and more importantly who cares?
Its morning on the roads of Kolkata
Two angry men on the road
A verbal fight, heated exchange of abuses
Their cars haphazardly parked
Blocking the traffic
Amidst the sea of angry vehicles and sweaty people
Stuck in a man made traffic jam
An ambulance wails
Someone is fighting for life
Maybe the roads will clear up
Maybe the ambulance will make its way through the maze
Perhaps its only a matter of few extended moments
But will those moments force a choice
Of life or death for someone somewhere
Who knows and more importantly who cares?
Its late at night
People come in fancy cars
Its a posh locality after all
The brightly lit gas station does brisk business as usual
Somewhere in the corner
Drowned in darkness
Sits a beggar, considered insane by the sane world
A gaping wound on his head
Maggots feeding on his brain
Some see him but none really see him
Nobody stops
Maybe the wound will claim his life
His soul is already taken
When and how
Who knows and more importantly who cares?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
When night falls
When people say they are scared of the dark, dark nights
Frankly I am a little surprised!
Shouldn't it be the days that scare us?
Days during which you pretend to be someone else
Smiling through pain, carrying on polite conversations
When all you really want to do is scream.
How are you, he asks.
I am fine , you say.
How's the job going, she queries.
Simply great, you grin.
How are you feeling today, they want to know.
Just as happy as I was yesterday, you have the answer ready.
The day demands you conform to rules
Society has set them
Follow them if you want to be a part of the circus
Defy if you dare and be an outcast
If grief tears at your heart
If you feel your insides sliced by razors
'There, there...now stop crying' they will say
If anger threatens to take over your senses
Breathe easy and count upto 10 or maybe 1000
If you are happy, remember your manners and don't laugh too loud
On days that you feel its not worth climbing out of bed
Get ready and face the world for it is expected of you
On days that you feel too happy to be trapped
Concentrate and ensure you complete that task in hand
Oh yes, its the days that I am scared of!
When night falls
You can take off that mask
Stay in bed if you want to
Or roam at the risk of being called weird
Stare at the ceiling for all its worth
Or observe the empty roads while the world sleeps
The sudden noise of a lone car might shatter your illusion that you are alone
But once the noise subsides, you can go back to your imagination
And finally be at peace
Till sleep claims you
And drags you into the world of nightmares or dreams
Depending on where your mind chooses to wander, free at last!
It is no wonder that I chose to write this at 2:15 am
Headphones in place, camouflaging a make believe world with music
But tomorrow is another day
Maybe good maybe not so good, who knows?
But I am prepared
I have a secret hiding place
If it gets too much to bear, I will run away and hide
Crouch and lie low till the day passes
And night falls
Releasing me from the clutches of the real world
Then I will step out gingerly
Stretch and spread my wings
Happy to be free
Someday I hope my senses will wake up before my intellect does
And allow me to see the world without pretensions
But till that day, on most days I will hide
In that secret place inside my mind
And wait for the night!
Frankly I am a little surprised!
Shouldn't it be the days that scare us?
Days during which you pretend to be someone else
Smiling through pain, carrying on polite conversations
When all you really want to do is scream.
How are you, he asks.
I am fine , you say.
How's the job going, she queries.
Simply great, you grin.
How are you feeling today, they want to know.
Just as happy as I was yesterday, you have the answer ready.
The day demands you conform to rules
Society has set them
Follow them if you want to be a part of the circus
Defy if you dare and be an outcast
If grief tears at your heart
If you feel your insides sliced by razors
'There, there...now stop crying' they will say
If anger threatens to take over your senses
Breathe easy and count upto 10 or maybe 1000
If you are happy, remember your manners and don't laugh too loud
On days that you feel its not worth climbing out of bed
Get ready and face the world for it is expected of you
On days that you feel too happy to be trapped
Concentrate and ensure you complete that task in hand
Oh yes, its the days that I am scared of!
When night falls
You can take off that mask
Stay in bed if you want to
Or roam at the risk of being called weird
Stare at the ceiling for all its worth
Or observe the empty roads while the world sleeps
The sudden noise of a lone car might shatter your illusion that you are alone
But once the noise subsides, you can go back to your imagination
And finally be at peace
Till sleep claims you
And drags you into the world of nightmares or dreams
Depending on where your mind chooses to wander, free at last!
It is no wonder that I chose to write this at 2:15 am
Headphones in place, camouflaging a make believe world with music
But tomorrow is another day
Maybe good maybe not so good, who knows?
But I am prepared
I have a secret hiding place
If it gets too much to bear, I will run away and hide
Crouch and lie low till the day passes
And night falls
Releasing me from the clutches of the real world
Then I will step out gingerly
Stretch and spread my wings
Happy to be free
Someday I hope my senses will wake up before my intellect does
And allow me to see the world without pretensions
But till that day, on most days I will hide
In that secret place inside my mind
And wait for the night!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Ohhh Calcutta
It's official - I am calcuttan once again or should it be a Kolkata-ite? Needless to say the transition from being a Delhiite to a Calcuttan (I'll go with this for now) isn't an easy task, but then who says life is easy? It took me two weeks to realise that I now stay in Kolkata. For those two weeks I was living out of my suitcase - mentally still stuck in the holiday mode. Then Ma-in-law pointed out, "ebar kapor gulo almarih tey rakh.....ekhon toh kolkatatei thakbi" (put your clothes in the cupboard now that you will stay in kolkata).
It's been a month. But each night I go to bed wondering why do I feel like an outsider in my own city? I mean , I was born and brought up in this city for godsake! Attended school and college here. And then I left.
Now after a decade I have returned home ...armed with a bagful of memories. But reality has changed. I do not recognise this city or her people anymore. I look at her with the awe reserved only for outsiders. I see, I observe and I register...renewing acquaintance with my birthplace.
I have always been fascinated by people. One of my favourite pass time is to observe people and make intuitive guesses about them - what kind of a person is he/she, what kind of work do they do, how is their life, how are they feeling at that exact moment, what is their relationship with the person with whom they are chatting over a cup of coffee, etc etc etc. Until now this had been just a hobby. But ever since I have relocated to Calcutta, this has become a survival tool. I feel I have to understand the psyche of the city by getting to know her people. It's a desperate need to blend in, to belong once again. And for that I have to get a feel of the place by observing, talking and mingling with the faithful - those who never left.
But I have a confession to make. The separation of a decade has converted me - slowly but surely. Delhi has seeped into my cells and made a home in my heart. Delhi, with all its rudeness, its aggression, political highbrowness, indecent flaunting of exhorbitant wealth, is home. Delhi, with its maginificent wide roads, its historic monuments, its metropolitan culture and 'I-care-a -damn' attitude, is home. I now look at Calcutta with the eyes of a Delhiite and thus feel out of place. Some friends here comment that I am now a 'Dilliwali' - and though I would die before I admit it in front of them - I think that maybe the conversion has indeed happened. Like an authentic, spoiled 'NRB' (Non Resident Bengali equally snobbish and pseudo as the NRI) - I complain "Ufff the heat here is unbearable (conveniently forgetting the soaring temperature of a Delhi summer). People here sweat so much and they stink (As if north Indians have an in built fragrance generator to help them combat body odour). OMG what are these people wearing - didnt that go out of style like about 7 years back? (ya right - the Punjabi aunties in Delhi are the fashion icons of India). Everybody uses public transport here - and am I seriously expected to travel by a public bus - you must be outta your mind! In saddi Dilli everybody goes to the local market to buy vegetables in their spare family car (pollution, global warming, what?)" - Yes people - I am a Delhiite and proud to be one!
Now having said all of the above, I must also accept that I am not immune to Kolkata's charms. Waking up to the scents and sounds of the city is sheer bliss! Only here my mornings start with the rickshaw horn going 'pyan pyun' (cant spell it right), the sizzle of fish being released into hot oil in kadai (every bengali household has this utensil in various sizes) and yes, a baul or a minstrel (Mihir Pal - just had an early morning chat with him) singing devotional songs right under my bedroom window. Please note: for the princely sum of twenty rupees Mihir Pal obliged and sang requests too :-)
Among other things, Kolkata is also one of the cheapest metros in the country and you can easily stuff your face in any decent joint in the city and pay atleast half of what you would in Delhi. A foodaholic's paradise - the variety and flavours on offer here are simply unparalleled. You know you are a true Bong from Kolkata if you are intimately acquainted with these terms and it doesnt seem like I am talking gibberish: 'Chittoda's eshtew', 'Gol barir kosha mangsho', 'Paramount er shorbot', 'Anadi r moghlai', 'Ralli's er mixed chaat and kulfi', 'Oly pub er beef steak and world -famous- in- kolkata kashundi' etc etc etc. And words like Aliya,Rahmania, Shiraz, Arsalan are household names for you. I am sure any Bengali worth his fish can add atleast 50 more names to the list but I am restricted in my knowledge due to the handicap of a NRB status!
My vocabulary has also increased by leaps and bounds since my return to the city. Some words and expressions which I recently learned and re-learned include:
1. Enti r bari = Entire house/independent house (courtesy: brokers helping with our house hunt)
2. Bombay cutting er bari = House with a contemporary style, usually white in colour with border of a contrasting colour (courtesy: same as above)
3. Hostell = Horsetail aka Ponytail (courtesy: neighbourhood kakima/aunty)4. No poblem = No problem (this one was easy to comprehend wasnt it?)
5. Chanp achey = 'There's pressure' or 'this may be tough'
6. Mata (T pronounced as in tomato) = An idiot
7. Mairi bolchi = I swear I am telling the truth
8. Dhhop = A lie
9. Adda = Chatting with anybody about anything at any time of the day (also a national pass time for the average Bong)
10. Jol khabar = Snacks (supposedly light morning/evening snacks which may consist of puri & sabzi, kachauris, samosas/shingara etc.)
Please feel free to add to the list :-)
And last but not the least, Kolkata has ensured that I get reacquainted with Bangali kalture (culture) through the most common medium - Rabindra sangeet! So every Wednesday between 8:30 - 9:30 pm my hapless neighbours stuff cotton into their ears as I exercise my vocal chords under the guidance of my 'teacher' - a dear kakima (aunty) with the voice of an angel.
So far so good. But will I be able to live and work here and start my life afresh? I don't know. Will let you know as soon as I find out.
signing off for now. Goodnight.
It's been a month. But each night I go to bed wondering why do I feel like an outsider in my own city? I mean , I was born and brought up in this city for godsake! Attended school and college here. And then I left.
Now after a decade I have returned home ...armed with a bagful of memories. But reality has changed. I do not recognise this city or her people anymore. I look at her with the awe reserved only for outsiders. I see, I observe and I register...renewing acquaintance with my birthplace.
I have always been fascinated by people. One of my favourite pass time is to observe people and make intuitive guesses about them - what kind of a person is he/she, what kind of work do they do, how is their life, how are they feeling at that exact moment, what is their relationship with the person with whom they are chatting over a cup of coffee, etc etc etc. Until now this had been just a hobby. But ever since I have relocated to Calcutta, this has become a survival tool. I feel I have to understand the psyche of the city by getting to know her people. It's a desperate need to blend in, to belong once again. And for that I have to get a feel of the place by observing, talking and mingling with the faithful - those who never left.
But I have a confession to make. The separation of a decade has converted me - slowly but surely. Delhi has seeped into my cells and made a home in my heart. Delhi, with all its rudeness, its aggression, political highbrowness, indecent flaunting of exhorbitant wealth, is home. Delhi, with its maginificent wide roads, its historic monuments, its metropolitan culture and 'I-care-a -damn' attitude, is home. I now look at Calcutta with the eyes of a Delhiite and thus feel out of place. Some friends here comment that I am now a 'Dilliwali' - and though I would die before I admit it in front of them - I think that maybe the conversion has indeed happened. Like an authentic, spoiled 'NRB' (Non Resident Bengali equally snobbish and pseudo as the NRI) - I complain "Ufff the heat here is unbearable (conveniently forgetting the soaring temperature of a Delhi summer). People here sweat so much and they stink (As if north Indians have an in built fragrance generator to help them combat body odour). OMG what are these people wearing - didnt that go out of style like about 7 years back? (ya right - the Punjabi aunties in Delhi are the fashion icons of India). Everybody uses public transport here - and am I seriously expected to travel by a public bus - you must be outta your mind! In saddi Dilli everybody goes to the local market to buy vegetables in their spare family car (pollution, global warming, what?)" - Yes people - I am a Delhiite and proud to be one!
Now having said all of the above, I must also accept that I am not immune to Kolkata's charms. Waking up to the scents and sounds of the city is sheer bliss! Only here my mornings start with the rickshaw horn going 'pyan pyun' (cant spell it right), the sizzle of fish being released into hot oil in kadai (every bengali household has this utensil in various sizes) and yes, a baul or a minstrel (Mihir Pal - just had an early morning chat with him) singing devotional songs right under my bedroom window. Please note: for the princely sum of twenty rupees Mihir Pal obliged and sang requests too :-)
Among other things, Kolkata is also one of the cheapest metros in the country and you can easily stuff your face in any decent joint in the city and pay atleast half of what you would in Delhi. A foodaholic's paradise - the variety and flavours on offer here are simply unparalleled. You know you are a true Bong from Kolkata if you are intimately acquainted with these terms and it doesnt seem like I am talking gibberish: 'Chittoda's eshtew', 'Gol barir kosha mangsho', 'Paramount er shorbot', 'Anadi r moghlai', 'Ralli's er mixed chaat and kulfi', 'Oly pub er beef steak and world -famous- in- kolkata kashundi' etc etc etc. And words like Aliya,Rahmania, Shiraz, Arsalan are household names for you. I am sure any Bengali worth his fish can add atleast 50 more names to the list but I am restricted in my knowledge due to the handicap of a NRB status!
My vocabulary has also increased by leaps and bounds since my return to the city. Some words and expressions which I recently learned and re-learned include:
1. Enti r bari = Entire house/independent house (courtesy: brokers helping with our house hunt)
2. Bombay cutting er bari = House with a contemporary style, usually white in colour with border of a contrasting colour (courtesy: same as above)
3. Hostell = Horsetail aka Ponytail (courtesy: neighbourhood kakima/aunty)4. No poblem = No problem (this one was easy to comprehend wasnt it?)
5. Chanp achey = 'There's pressure' or 'this may be tough'
6. Mata (T pronounced as in tomato) = An idiot
7. Mairi bolchi = I swear I am telling the truth
8. Dhhop = A lie
9. Adda = Chatting with anybody about anything at any time of the day (also a national pass time for the average Bong)
10. Jol khabar = Snacks (supposedly light morning/evening snacks which may consist of puri & sabzi, kachauris, samosas/shingara etc.)
Please feel free to add to the list :-)
And last but not the least, Kolkata has ensured that I get reacquainted with Bangali kalture (culture) through the most common medium - Rabindra sangeet! So every Wednesday between 8:30 - 9:30 pm my hapless neighbours stuff cotton into their ears as I exercise my vocal chords under the guidance of my 'teacher' - a dear kakima (aunty) with the voice of an angel.
So far so good. But will I be able to live and work here and start my life afresh? I don't know. Will let you know as soon as I find out.
signing off for now. Goodnight.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Phoonk - supposedly a black magic story!!!
Ramu has done it again! Yes, he is back with yet another horror flick, but this time positioned as a 'black magic' story. I mean, why try extra hard to scare the audience? Simply stating that this movie has been made by 'Ram Gopal Varma' should be scary enough, especially after his disastrous attempts like 'Aag'...that was more like aaagghh!!! Well, before I lose track, let me come back to the point. So, where was I? Yes, Phoonk.
Now, this film is being being touted as one of the scariest Bollywood flicks in recent times and the director has even dared the masses to watch it alone. Also, like any other hindi movie, it is supposed to be 'zara hatkey' from the regular horror flicks, as it deals with 'black magic' and presumably superstitions. The trailer gives immense importance to a yellow lemon, which is commonly associated with black magic. Frankly, I have no clue about the association of a lemon and spells and would be obliged if someone could throw some light on this. However, the lemon has been depicted in numerous movies as the carrier of some black magic spells, to generate sufficient fear about it. In India, it is common to see many people tie a yellow lemon and some chillies outside their shops or even homes to ward off the evil eye. So if I list out some of the most feared objects as far as superstitions are concerned, then the yellow lemon would rank quite high, probably right next to the black cat.
Coming back to Phoonk. I have nothing against this film and since I had liked Mr. Varma's earlier venture 'Bhooth', I am looking forward to Phoonk as well. However, my only concern is that we Indians are a very superstitious lot and any action depicted in movies, if strongly portrayed, is bound to affect the psyche of the masses. So, my concern is actually for the poor lemon. Already feared as a carrier of evil, its reputation will be seriously damaged after this movie. If a cursed lemon can cause the intended target to behave like the protagonist of "Exorcist', which I am sure was a source of inspiration for Mr. Varma, then any blameless lemon lying on the road can also be misunderstood easily.
The trailer of Phoonk also shows a woman piercing a black doll with needles and this again is a common association with black magic. I, personally have a great respect for any art and magic, whether white or black, is a great art indeed. So, if our movies, which are intended for the masses, depict such actions, it is bound to create further misconceptions in the minds of the people watching it. In fact, subjects like astrology, tarot, hynotherapy, past life regressions, etc. are all misconstrued by the masses due to their projection in movies.
I believe in the intangible force, I believe in a proven science like astrology, I believe in negative and positive vibes and intuition and telepathy, I believe in past lives and karmic bondings and I believe there is evil because I believe in god. However, such beliefs are a personal opinion and shaped by consistent research on these matters. Most people, however, simply go by superstitions and I fear that such movies which process half baked ideas on these subjects will create further misunderstanding among the audience. Movies like Phoonk should be seen and enjoyed only for the entertainment value and not for forming ideas on subjects like black magic. Hope the audience just does that - enjoy and forget!
But before I end my rambling, I would like to state that all I have written about the movie is simply based on my perceptions drawn from the trailer and promos and previews. I might have a completely different story to tell once I have actually watched it! Also, I hope to find out the story behind the lemon before long so help me in my quest. Till then, awaiting the release of Phooooonk...
Now, this film is being being touted as one of the scariest Bollywood flicks in recent times and the director has even dared the masses to watch it alone. Also, like any other hindi movie, it is supposed to be 'zara hatkey' from the regular horror flicks, as it deals with 'black magic' and presumably superstitions. The trailer gives immense importance to a yellow lemon, which is commonly associated with black magic. Frankly, I have no clue about the association of a lemon and spells and would be obliged if someone could throw some light on this. However, the lemon has been depicted in numerous movies as the carrier of some black magic spells, to generate sufficient fear about it. In India, it is common to see many people tie a yellow lemon and some chillies outside their shops or even homes to ward off the evil eye. So if I list out some of the most feared objects as far as superstitions are concerned, then the yellow lemon would rank quite high, probably right next to the black cat.
Coming back to Phoonk. I have nothing against this film and since I had liked Mr. Varma's earlier venture 'Bhooth', I am looking forward to Phoonk as well. However, my only concern is that we Indians are a very superstitious lot and any action depicted in movies, if strongly portrayed, is bound to affect the psyche of the masses. So, my concern is actually for the poor lemon. Already feared as a carrier of evil, its reputation will be seriously damaged after this movie. If a cursed lemon can cause the intended target to behave like the protagonist of "Exorcist', which I am sure was a source of inspiration for Mr. Varma, then any blameless lemon lying on the road can also be misunderstood easily.
The trailer of Phoonk also shows a woman piercing a black doll with needles and this again is a common association with black magic. I, personally have a great respect for any art and magic, whether white or black, is a great art indeed. So, if our movies, which are intended for the masses, depict such actions, it is bound to create further misconceptions in the minds of the people watching it. In fact, subjects like astrology, tarot, hynotherapy, past life regressions, etc. are all misconstrued by the masses due to their projection in movies.
I believe in the intangible force, I believe in a proven science like astrology, I believe in negative and positive vibes and intuition and telepathy, I believe in past lives and karmic bondings and I believe there is evil because I believe in god. However, such beliefs are a personal opinion and shaped by consistent research on these matters. Most people, however, simply go by superstitions and I fear that such movies which process half baked ideas on these subjects will create further misunderstanding among the audience. Movies like Phoonk should be seen and enjoyed only for the entertainment value and not for forming ideas on subjects like black magic. Hope the audience just does that - enjoy and forget!
But before I end my rambling, I would like to state that all I have written about the movie is simply based on my perceptions drawn from the trailer and promos and previews. I might have a completely different story to tell once I have actually watched it! Also, I hope to find out the story behind the lemon before long so help me in my quest. Till then, awaiting the release of Phooooonk...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
When nothing seems right!
I am irritated and bordering on the verge of severe depression. Now you may ask,why. No issues, I would have told you anyways. Well, the problem lies in this year! Yes, the year 2008. I don't like it. In fact, I have not liked it since the very beginning of this year. Or no, maybe even earlier. Yes, I did not like this year from the ending of the previous year. There, that's better, now that I have accepted the truth. the truth is the fact that I already had a pre conceived notion about how the year would turn out to be and it seems as if the events taking place this year are only trying to re-affirm my faith that, this indeed is a bad year!
The worst of the lot till now has been the month of March and now May, or is it progressively getting worse? I dunno, am just too depressed to analyze it in a rational manner. I mean, everything that could possibly go wrong, is actually going wrong and more. And it is not just me who feels this way. Many people I know have also confirmed that nothing seems to be working out for them too. Office, family, love life, friendship, opportunities, blah blah blah, everything is one big mess! The situation is like an awful soup which your mother used to make when you were really ill and then you were forced to gulp it down. Yes, life is that awful right now.
Now, I have never been the most logical, rational, cool tempered person that you have met so far, oh no I do not fit the bill at all, but I have also never been this irritated, angry young woman as well. My mood swings are getting worse by the day. Rational thought has taken a complete backseat while irrational fears grip my heart. Each morning I wake up thinking, now what can possibly go wrong today? And that is not how I want to start each day.
So, I have given this situation of progressively deteriorating year some serious thought. Ok, so the year has not been too good so far, ahem, that was an understatement! Also, the astrological combinations in my chart are not at their most favorable positions. Besides, the planets have also decided to act loony and change their positions and turn all plans upside down! Everyone around me seems to be having fits, as they are either angry, sad, depressed or plain and simple crazy. But......but is the situation really so bad?
A sneaky suspicion creeps into my mind as I take a bird's eye view of the situation. Is it possible that nature is conspiring to give us exactly what we are anticipating? I mean, is it our negative thoughts and vibes that are affecting the environment around us and our life in general? Think carefully. Has it never happened to you that when you are desperately thinking of someone, that person calls? How do explain these incidents. Well, I have my own explanation. I think it might be our vibes and the power of thoughts that influence our life. If I think something bad will happen, it actually does. On the contrary, if I expect things to change for the better, who knows, it just might!
So, now that I think about it, I have indeed been very negative about this year right from the beginning and hence the year is treating me in this manner. Maybe, its just time to change my attitude towards life and give life a chance to change for the better? The wheel is turning. Is it now my turn to be on the top? Who knows, meanwhile let me just start thinking positively about the rest of the year and maybe then 2008 will return the favor!
The worst of the lot till now has been the month of March and now May, or is it progressively getting worse? I dunno, am just too depressed to analyze it in a rational manner. I mean, everything that could possibly go wrong, is actually going wrong and more. And it is not just me who feels this way. Many people I know have also confirmed that nothing seems to be working out for them too. Office, family, love life, friendship, opportunities, blah blah blah, everything is one big mess! The situation is like an awful soup which your mother used to make when you were really ill and then you were forced to gulp it down. Yes, life is that awful right now.
Now, I have never been the most logical, rational, cool tempered person that you have met so far, oh no I do not fit the bill at all, but I have also never been this irritated, angry young woman as well. My mood swings are getting worse by the day. Rational thought has taken a complete backseat while irrational fears grip my heart. Each morning I wake up thinking, now what can possibly go wrong today? And that is not how I want to start each day.
So, I have given this situation of progressively deteriorating year some serious thought. Ok, so the year has not been too good so far, ahem, that was an understatement! Also, the astrological combinations in my chart are not at their most favorable positions. Besides, the planets have also decided to act loony and change their positions and turn all plans upside down! Everyone around me seems to be having fits, as they are either angry, sad, depressed or plain and simple crazy. But......but is the situation really so bad?
A sneaky suspicion creeps into my mind as I take a bird's eye view of the situation. Is it possible that nature is conspiring to give us exactly what we are anticipating? I mean, is it our negative thoughts and vibes that are affecting the environment around us and our life in general? Think carefully. Has it never happened to you that when you are desperately thinking of someone, that person calls? How do explain these incidents. Well, I have my own explanation. I think it might be our vibes and the power of thoughts that influence our life. If I think something bad will happen, it actually does. On the contrary, if I expect things to change for the better, who knows, it just might!
So, now that I think about it, I have indeed been very negative about this year right from the beginning and hence the year is treating me in this manner. Maybe, its just time to change my attitude towards life and give life a chance to change for the better? The wheel is turning. Is it now my turn to be on the top? Who knows, meanwhile let me just start thinking positively about the rest of the year and maybe then 2008 will return the favor!
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