Wednesday, March 24, 2010

When night falls

When people say they are scared of the dark, dark nights
Frankly I am a little surprised!
Shouldn't it be the days that scare us?
Days during which you pretend to be someone else
Smiling through pain, carrying on polite conversations
When all you really want to do is scream.

How are you, he asks.
I am fine , you say.
How's the job going, she queries.
Simply great, you grin.
How are you feeling today, they want to know.
Just as happy as I was yesterday, you have the answer ready.

The day demands you conform to rules
Society has set them
Follow them if you want to be a part of the circus
Defy if you dare and be an outcast

If grief tears at your heart
If you feel your insides sliced by razors
'There, there...now stop crying' they will say
If anger threatens to take over your senses
Breathe easy and count upto 10 or maybe 1000
If you are happy, remember your manners and don't laugh too loud

On days that you feel its not worth climbing out of bed
Get ready and face the world for it is expected of you
On days that you feel too happy to be trapped
Concentrate and ensure you complete that task in hand
Oh yes, its the days that I am scared of!

When night falls
You can take off that mask
Stay in bed if you want to
Or roam at the risk of being called weird
Stare at the ceiling for all its worth
Or observe the empty roads while the world sleeps
The sudden noise of a lone car might shatter your illusion that you are alone
But once the noise subsides, you can go back to your imagination
And finally be at peace
Till sleep claims you
And drags you into the world of nightmares or dreams
Depending on where your mind chooses to wander, free at last!

It is no wonder that I chose to write this at 2:15 am
Headphones in place, camouflaging a make believe world with music
But tomorrow is another day
Maybe good maybe not so good, who knows?
But I am prepared
I have a secret hiding place
If it gets too much to bear, I will run away and hide
Crouch and lie low till the day passes
And night falls
Releasing me from the clutches of the real world

Then I will step out gingerly
Stretch and spread my wings
Happy to be free

Someday I hope my senses will wake up before my intellect does
And allow me to see the world without pretensions
But till that day, on most days I will hide
In that secret place inside my mind
And wait for the night!

2 comments:

aditi said...

This one is poetry...poetry of angst, poetry of pain...poetry that's pure...you are maturing fast my love...both as a person and a writer..gone is the gawkiness of youth...these are the smooth curves of the grownup woman... I love this piece and congratulations for having written it.

anurag said...

great..can relate a lot..